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Post by yak2 on May 5, 2011 13:18:35 GMT 12
" I told them I was sick" Tombstone, NSW country cemetary
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Post by Dave Homewood on May 5, 2011 13:25:01 GMT 12
That is on Spike Milligan's headstone, isn't it?
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Post by vs on May 5, 2011 13:59:12 GMT 12
propellers are for boats!
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Post by baz62 on May 5, 2011 14:08:20 GMT 12
"Right! Off south to Scotland!" "But isn't Scotland in the north?" "Yes we are going to sneak up on them from behind!" (Goon Show)
Also: "Be careful with that vase Min its worth (CRASH) nothing!" (Also Goon Show)
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Post by yak2 on May 5, 2011 14:09:30 GMT 12
That is on Spike Milligan's headstone, isn't it? Could be. Spike and his family lived in Woy Woy (NSW) from memory, and I think he was the one who originally found/publicised the quote. Must have liked it.
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Post by strikemaster on May 5, 2011 18:33:53 GMT 12
Yes, they did and it is on his headstone, Yak2.
My grandfather lived by this credo, "If you worry, you die, if you don't worry, you die. So why worry?". Also, "It'll be all the same in 100 years".
A man of great wisdom and humour was my Poppa.
Billy Connelly decided his tomb stone was to read "Is that the time already?"
I'm also fond of - any landing you can walk away from is a good one. Or something like that.
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Post by Officer Crabtree on May 5, 2011 18:40:31 GMT 12
Pvt Baldrick (upon finishing a war poem) I could do another one! I could go on all night like this! Cpt Blackadder:[Angrily] Not with a bayonet through your neck you couldn't!
Blackadder: I wouldn't get your hopes up, Darling. Any reasonably impartial judge is bound to let me off. Darling: [smugly] Well, of course. Blackadder: Who is the judge? Melchett: BAAAAA! Blackadder: I'm dead.
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Post by strikemaster on May 5, 2011 19:08:50 GMT 12
You'd appreciate this one, young Crabtree;
"It is good to see ze British bummers are still farting ze Germans".
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Post by Dave Homewood on May 5, 2011 19:09:41 GMT 12
Two great Homer Simpson quotes:
"To alcohol - the cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems!"
"How come things that happen to stupid people keep happening to me?"
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Post by johnnyfalcon on May 5, 2011 19:28:46 GMT 12
Lord FlashHeart "treat your woman like your kite. Climb into her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back"! WOOF!
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Post by Parrotfish on May 5, 2011 19:48:15 GMT 12
"Please excuse my filthy hands. I've just been washing my face." Count Jim Moriarty- The Goons
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Post by fyl on May 5, 2011 20:18:53 GMT 12
"A superlative suggestion, sir, with just two minor flaws. One: We don't have any defensive shields, and Two: We don't have any defensive shields. Now, I realise that, technically speaking, that's only one flaw, but I thought that it was such a big one it was worth mentioning twice." Kryten, Red Dwarf
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Post by Dave.K on May 5, 2011 21:52:29 GMT 12
Little old lady boarding flight, says to the attendant, "do these planes crash often", only once replied the attendant
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Post by shorty on May 5, 2011 22:27:18 GMT 12
It is impossible to make anything foolproof because fools are so ingenious. unknown
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Post by errolmartyn on May 5, 2011 23:50:16 GMT 12
"Have you put the cat out, Henry?"
"I didn't know it was on fire, Minnie."
(It could only be the Goons)
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Post by Andy Wright on May 6, 2011 10:29:42 GMT 12
propellers are for boats! Jets are for kids.
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Post by Dave Homewood on May 6, 2011 12:40:48 GMT 12
David Letterman: "Are you folks all looking forward to the Tony Awards this week?" Audience: "Yeah!!" Letterman: "Then you're probably gay." ;D
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Post by baz62 on May 6, 2011 17:17:37 GMT 12
"Right. Kryten. Go to Red Alert." "Are you absolutely sure sir? It does mean changing the bulb!" Red Dwarf.
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Post by strikemaster on May 6, 2011 17:44:41 GMT 12
KRYTEN: It's a, it's a, it's, it's, it's the Bolivian Navy on manoeuvres in the South Pacific!
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Post by mumbles on May 7, 2011 17:27:29 GMT 12
Quote I read recently about flying the love it or hate it and slightly notorious GAF Nomad: "[Flying a Nomad] is a bit like shagging your sister; You're up there, but you're not real proud of it..."
Almost any given part of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas". Page for page the funniest book I have ever read, while remaining insightful satire about the death of the hippie dream.
The audio of this mighty Boosh clip gets played on my local radio station from time to time:
"You don't hate Jazz; you fear Jazz..." "You better take that back you electro-ponce!" From the Blues Brothers:
Elwood: "It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a full tank of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark... and we're wearing sunglasses." Jake: "Hit it."
"the essence of war is violence; moderation in war is imbecility", RN Admiral John Fisher.
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